don't ya hate it when that happens?
Thursday, December 19, 2002
As the time grows nearer and we are forced to press forward, the river suddenly diverts like ants wandering from the trail starting to form new paths… the trick lies in taking a risk to find the successful path that leads to what we want… in clouds that gray and fogs that thicken, all I feel is pelting rain… all I see are my arms outstretched before me and a few feet ahead… if I close my eyes and turn toward the sky the rain transforms into slow kisses, a sweetness I must pay dearly for…. moving through the fog is frightening, step after step feeling the ground, weighing the odds, hands laden with dampness searching around and around, searching and fearing, yearning and cringing, touching and hoping…. Clothes heavy and clinging, the way too much alcohol lays on your head… I want to be free… I cannot do this alone but I must. “Find it within yourself.” they say. Well I want to say
stick it. I am at the point of little hope and no return… need to forge on because the doom makes us stronger, love is all I live for… love is all I hope for, but emptiness reigns as a cruel and mighty queen, taunting me and prodding me, leaving me for jest… sickness and sadness, where does the end take form? Does the end lead to the beginning, a tease and a taste of all that could have been? My head aches to no end, was it always this way? I can’t recall because nothing seems so piercing as the present…
ah 2:11 AM
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