don't ya hate it when that happens?
Thursday, May 08, 2003
wednesday...
spend all morning looking for a spawn toy...
work...
(whole foods dinner, matrix premiere)
unicamp meeting
social at sawtelle....(crepe with mangos, strawberries, and nutella..)
rehearse scene for tm
i have to park on the street this month.. so there's that freakin street cleaning.. i park in the garage tonight until tm at 11am when i find a spot... i hate it when people aren't direct with you.. like when minh said he's going to the store with roberto and my car is there.... "..so..." and i look at him waiting to hear what he wants.. i don't want to offer, i want people to step up and ask.. i know he wants to borrow my car b/c that is easier than moving kyles and then his... esp since mines makes it more difficult.... pisses me off when people are implying something that should be direct... tired of being stepped on...
and then there's the whole matrix thing... that freaking bothers me. yeah i know, i should be happy they even called me right? but why would i not want to go? everyone who knows me knows i want to go..... so now they're all going on that night... i guess it just bothers me b/c it's been happening a lot lately with tickets... like that giants game where he decided to just get rid of them even though one person is iffy and leaves me in the dust so then kyle says "didn't he tell you about the giants game?" you know.. that feeling... that everyone else knows... but that person... so you feel left out and you lower your expectations a lot...... a lot. makes me not want to open up, so i dont' expect things.. so i don't get hurt... lord knows i've tried... shit... another thing i hate... is when people build themselves up.. especially when they try to sound like they're giving but what they're really doing is giving themself too much credit. maybe it's my humble side talking... but i remember being in intervarsity/ bruin christian fellowship and having jodi explain how "fullfilling" it was to give back to a society where even the school has metal fences surrounding it....how does folding kids' clothes give back.. they learn more by folding their own clothes. if she wanted to give back she shoulda done something else like read them a story or the bible or tutor them. what the f--?!?!? oh yeah.. so she chewed me out that day... i didn't cry until i was in my room. hey i'm sensitive like that.. even when i think i'm right. hehehehe.... i just want people, especially christians to give not for the feeling it gives them, but mainly b/c they want to give. i don't want no haughty person thinking they're so important... building themselves up, talking about what a difference they make in others' lives... why don't they talk about what others do for them?!?!?!??! eh. maybe i'm asking for too much in this mtv world. i can't even talk. i love music videos.... am i even making sense? am i running around in circles? why are people so fucking selfish?
note to self:
reptile convention
mattel run
ride to airport
gown for elaine
book for tap
bring home stuff
the end. if you made it to the end, you can tap this digital ass!
(_)_)
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