don't ya hate it when that happens?
Sunday, August 03, 2003
i have so much anxiety about moving back home. it's just that i don't have that many friends remaining there, but i do have a lot of family. i do miss them all, but the pressures of family tension is really eating away... it's hard not to argue with close family. they really, really, really know how to push your buttons. drive you to the edge! but it's done and over. i'm going away to indonesia this coming thursday night... i dont' really know what's happening. i'm applying for two jobs back home in san francisco. we packed the van with my stuff and now i am left sleeping on the sofa.
to keep my mind of things my dad suggested i go swing dancing as originally planned. even though i only knew the basics, man did i have a blast! no one's really shy about dancing and asking etc... this one really old man dressed in old school threads had this one move where he would pick up the girl on his back! he did it to me and vanessa... we were like... dude.. i weigh a lot! but all those turns were really fun and the clothes/ hair/ etc.... just wish i had shoes for this kind of thing. :)
on the down/ happy side.. a camper from unicamp two years ago contacted me. apparently he's having difficulties.. i dont' know how much i can help.. where is the line where confidentiality becomes dangerous? happy he turned to me, sad that people, no CHILDREN, have these problems... my heart goes out to the world.
who am i? what am i? why am i here?
i hurt for the world, for the world i shed tears...
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