don't ya hate it when that happens?
Monday, August 18, 2003
inside
friday i was talking a lot to someone i cared a lot for.. not sure what i should think/ do/ feel... so i let it free and try to think of it no longer. and when i do i only recall happy moments of staring into eachother's eyes in heavenly love...
passe compose
today.. i've talked a lot to another who i used to be in love with... he was my first love really... but we didn't seem to fit together as well as we had hoped... but catching up is always fun to do.. although i treasure those memories with him.. i feel now that i truly know what i want... it's just a matter of finding it.. which is actually the hard part now... for everyone i guess. i thought i had this one love within my grasp, which is why i gave in.. tempted and weighing the risks, but even love doesn't hold sweethearts together... have you ever known what it feels like to know that this completes you.. that whole feeling... the knowledge.. this person in your arms.. silent, loving, falling into one another. i guess i was afraid i'd never find another like you. never be able to feel so uninhibited and feel so free and loved and accepted. does he still love me the same way that i feel for him? do these questions even matter? why is it so hard to let go? i still feel him smelling and kissing my neck, fixing my hair and eating ice cream with me. but it's over now. fare thee well...