don't ya hate it when that happens?
Tuesday, December 23, 2003
no, that song is not my own
my friend was checking out my site and saw the song below... my poems are more... not as light? i usually don't get bitten by the creative bug unless i am deep in sorrow.. but even then i only dare show the surface. why risk the pain? the judgement... to share is wonderful, but to share with only one half exposed... what of the reader? why should they have all the fun. hiding there in their comfortable space, free to cast judgement as they choose... so i shall play too.. let them see what they can... then let them think and feel as they choose. for them, a glimpse of what is or could be...
here is my soul:
i think i am deeply hurt in a way that i have pushed back so far as to only affect me subconsciously.. in my actions.. line my thoughts... one can argue that everyone is hurt and everyone has issues.. to this i say ... ok, i shall refrain from cruel words, but only for today. my needs, my wants are affected by certain issues... thus i remain dependent upon things i do not want to depend on... things that are my weakness.. wax and wane, such is the game that i play and i pity those who partake. but i suppose all life is just that and nothing can be done about it. i want to express myself freely, but exposing what i think only to let others find comfort in my misery... or to have them belittle my life as a few have done already... i dont' know.. maybe i will.. i'll think more about it... later... this issue of recurring pain... i just need to let things roll off my back better... not let words burn, not let attachments grow, not allow free access to everything in my mind and heart...
i search for this prince charming, but is there such a role to fill or is it just another game? you say you can provide.. i say otherwise. there is always more than anyone expects.. even I.
you know who you are... i do not write for you to criticize.. i write to let people know that there are others who feel the same as them. if my life makes you feel better about your own or you want to compare and say your life is worse, then READ BfEuTcWkEEN TyHoEu WORDS.
only darkness reigns the night
a drop of ink in rain
that leaks upon those lips of lies
residual pain and shame
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