don't ya hate it when that happens?
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
She emerged from her cocoon...
I don't know who I am anymore. I've always been torn in the middle, less defined. I have no way of feeling connected. Do people really understand who I am or where I'm from? or are they constant judgements made from what they think are higher places? have you seen what i've seen? immense happiness, abuse, confusion, other's pain, sunlight happily trickling between my fingers, the passing of souls... loved ones.Am I an adult now? someone who has no time for things that are always pushed to the side, time to learn more about things that she loves, time to spend with people who really matter, time to sit down and actually just lose herself in music, strum, beat, note, sigh...
i feel i am nothing, but everything in between. i sense the anger, hope and hopelessness, the waves of emotion, the thrill of victory. i am that person, who has seen death of all sorts, even so far as to successfully reverse what could have been such.
suffering in silence.
passive to a degree.
only about herself.
i see the world drenched in beauty, so thick and lush, my attempts to capture it are ill and insufficient. the smell of happiness and despair exudes from every crevice, aptly avoiding capture, narrowly avoiding my awkward advances... attempts, i hope, made to forever encase that intangible feeling suffocating me at that very moment... causing that toe curling feeling of claustrophobia to slowly seep out frustrating me to no end.
0 Comments:
