don't ya hate it when that happens?
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
Feed the need
to kick some butt that is...I've been particularly agitated today… probably b/c I need more sleep and I’ve been frustrated with my career path. If I knew what I wanted to do, trust me, I’d be there.
There are those who see work as work and others who consider themselves lucky b/c they love what they do for a living. Should I just marry a rich guy? Hehehe, no, that wouldn’t work… the money isn’t yours and there’s so much… attached to it.
So much for that branch.
All this work talk was sparked by an incident today. I hate losing my temper and today someone at work pushed a button that I try really hard to conceal. I’m not only the youngest, I’m also the only girl in my group and sometimes people try to get me to do some grunt work for them. I wish I could be the kind of person that would only so much as bat an eyelash at such manipulators and calmly respond in an intelligent way. But no, I act surprised that they would so much as consider me their secretary and I let it get to me for the rest of the day. I’m waiting for that day when things roll easily off my back. Come soon sweet day, this rest stop is annoying me. There are so many resident idiots here talking about how important they are, blah blah blah, do this, do that, blah blah blah… (is that a simpsons quote?). Le sigh…
I have gotten sort of annoyingly good at being scared to enter relationships. Trust is a fragile thing with me, unfortunately. Break it and it heals, but the scars take awhile to noticably disappear. I’m trying to change that, but it’ll just take time. I’ve done it the wrong way so many times in fact, that every blue moon I don’t want to do anything at all anymore. For a split second in time, I see everything cynically. Fed up I suppose. But then someone steps through that wall like David Copperfield in China, and you’re forced to re-evaluate all over again.
Breathe. Sigh. Repeat.
And try not to beat anyone else up in the process, including yourself. (drop those gloves! Make love, not war! Unless it’s fun, kinky war, but I’d rather not touch that joke past this much.)
1 Comments:
Bring on that kinky war! Where can I enlist.
By 
, at
5:57 PM
