don't ya hate it when that happens?
Friday, November 04, 2005
I am so proud of my sisters
As the adult world looms on and I find myself juggling work with play, I find that I have to make time for important things like family. So usually I squeeze in church, a lunch, a spattering of phone calls… Currently Ingha will give me her latest rendition of “How to find a Job: 101” and Amelia and I will chit chat. Amelia’s surprised me the most. She went to Indonesia for a couple of months and when she came back her independence had grown tenfold.Sometimes, I find myself wallowing in the depths of self-pity and then I think of them and it gives me something to focus on, somethign away from negative thoughts. I love that we have the same sense of humor, sarcastic with a little corny mixed in. I love that we have the same habits, mannerisms, even flaws b/c we immediately recognize them in each other. I love that we love the same things.
My favorite quote for today is:
“I told him I would be sad if we broke up, but that I would be okay after awhile.”
I don’t know why I based my happiness in a relationship with a guy. Significant others aren’t vessels to self worth or status. It is a sensitive issue, but it doesn’t have to be.
Currently I have the bestest friends in the whole widest worldest, -the absolute best a girl could ever hope to have. It’s just life that seems to throw these loops in my direction. Every now and then I need a break. I want it to last forever, but I know a break should be just that- a temporary vacation with an inevitable end, and with that ending I dust my shoulders off and make room for another day. If I could just get one long row of fixing everything, my room, my sisters’ paths, my own path, my friend’s heart from his mother’s recent death… then I could make room for painting and knitting, cooking and praying, running and playing the guitar or piano, or even just being. I always put those things last. I don’t regret it just yet and I hope I never will. I always make room for laughter and crying… sometimes too much crying.
And friends. I always make room for friends. I hope you guys know how special my dearest friends are to me. I sometimes wonder if they know how much I care about and appreciate them…
Just be- noun: moments of significant nostalgic potential that initially appear trivial. I.e.: Sundays at Starbucks, lounging in the hammock, stretching out with a book, snooping around at Borders, relishing every sinful minute of Grey’s Anatomy and Scrubs, cuddling with a loved one, dancing the night away, analyzing chick flicks, practicing my shot, singing in the car…
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