don't ya hate it when that happens?
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
insomaniac purging
i just can't seem to get to bed at a decent hour anymore. it's not like i partied really hard or anything, but i find myself making myself stay up for no apparent reason at all.. like now i could be sleeping, but i thought.. what the heck.. i'll write something. it's that feeling of purging the insides to feel free again, aaaand i'm not making sense. :)::sigh:: there are just so many things to do and think about.. little things... big things... things in between (juuuust right, hehehe) i can't seem to keep it all straight. i'm such a list person. always making lists and remaking them. i have post its all over my desk and sometimes i'm afraid to throw one out bc i might lose something... i'm probably killing too many trees a year.. and for some reason i have the biggest urge to cover someone's cube in post its. too bad april fools is too far away... can i have a december fools in the house please?
lately i've been thinking (too much as always) about how i define life, love, happiness, and everything that falls in the cracks, but is just as important... community, learning, politics, making a change, accomplishments, success... everyone's definition is going to be different person to person but in the end, it's that same high level word that helps every person connect.
i've been thinking about death a lot lately too.. and its relation to time... there are so many things i want to do and not enough time... death, loss, love... i've been thinking about connections and art and music and just... too many things. it's funny.. b/c i need to scale back on activities until my school is finished so i can breath easier, but it's so hard... there just isn't enough time in a day to do everything... everything includes resting- something i used to take for granted when i was younger... time to unwind...
i really wish my finger was fully healed.. the dislocation is really upsetting me... i haven't played basketball or volleyball for soooooo long! i feel lost. at least i can run and lift weights.. and i'm glad it's straight, but this is 2 mos plus.... argh!
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